Forgive me fellow readers for my absence. I was trying to take a step away from blogging because I felt my writing was heading towards a mean and judgmental path. However upon reflection I have realized that there are people I deal with on a daily basis that the world needs to read about and judge alongside of me. So I am back and in full force…. Buckle up its going to be one hell of a ride
I will never understand the mentality of being a pretentious, self- centered Hollywood Hopeful. If you are a Hollywood Hopeful you should be nice and appreciative NOT AN ENTITLED D BAG! Arg….Today I had the joy of dealing with such an individual
Mr Hollywood: Hello I am an actor and I am interested in learning more about your company
Me: Fantastic, if you like I can transfer you to our submission line which will detail exactly how to submit to our agency
Mr Hollywood: Actually I have listened to the submission line and I had a few more questions
Mr Hollywood: I am not from LA and I do not have a lot of money so does your agency provide housing and transportation for your actors?
Me: Unfortunately we do not provide free housing or transportation for new talent
(does any agency? If they do I should really rethink my life choices of being an office peon and become a Hollywood Hopeful)
Mr Hollywood: Really? You don’t? So then what do you do for your talent then?
(do you think that everything will just be handed to you on a silver platter?!?!)
Me: We are a talent agency that represents models and actors. If we are interested in representing you an agent will reach out to you and set up an appointment. At this appointment they will decide if they would like to further the process and begin working with you professionally. At this time you would need to either live in LA or be in a position where you could attend auditions. These auditions could be last minute and an agent would like you fully available to attend any and all auditions.
(I know I sound like a robot and I am fully aware of it)
Mr Hollywood: But what about talent that lives out of state or out of the country
Me: It varies on a case by case basis but for the most part agents prefer that you either live in LA or spend a majority of the year in LA to go out on auditions
Mr Hollywood: But I don’t have a car or a place to live
(well that sounds like a personal problem bucko)
(because I am quietly judging a seemingly grown man who probably free loads and lives in the basement of his parents house)
Mr Hollywood: Ya I am going to have to speak to someone
(Speak to someone….WHAT AM I??? CHOPPED LIVER?!?!)
Me: Unfortunately at this time there is no one else to speak to
Mr Hollywood: No one… there is absolutely no one else that can take a phone call.
Me: Unfortunately all of our agents are busy with casting at the moment
Mr Hollywood: Well I need to speak to your manager or an agent who actually knows what they are talking about
(I am sorry what? Are you implying that I am stupid and incompetent?)
Me: Unfortunately you will not be able to
(and I will be damned if I transfer your call. Do not burn the bridge of the office peon sir! My patience is thin as it is and you just pissed me off)
Mr Hollywood: When is a good time to call back?
(Oh I don’t know….let me look at my calendar. How about sometime next…. NEVER!!!)
Me: Unfortunately all of our agents are busy with casting and will not be able to take your call
(did you really expect to speak to an agent and have them jump for joy at the prospect of representing you… I mean you do have SO many redeeming qualities you know with having no money, car and nowhere to live… you are a real catch… a real gem sir)
Mr Hollywood: Ya I got that little girl I need to speak to a grown up
(I am sorry but what the actual fuck just came out of your mouth?)
Mr Hollywood: and I am sure they will want to speak to me!
(doubtful…. Highly doubtful)
Me: They will not take your call sir
Mr Hollywood: I can’t believe this
(I can’t believe you either)
Mr Hollywood: Your agency runs a shitty business I mean what the fuck-
*I hang up*
Because why do I need to listen to this Hollywood nobody? I really should have hung up a long time ago but I have a really bad habit of doing so. For those of you who have never called agencies before, usually you do get hung up on. Probably 9/10 times if they don’t know you they will hang up on you. Because I possess some sort of human decency in my Office Peon soul I try and listen and help out as much as I can. IT IS PEOPLE LIKE THIS THOUGH THAT REALLY MAKE ME WANT TO START HANGING UP ON EVERYONE. You wonder why people are mean in this town? It’s from dealing with jerks like this guy!
UPDATE: After posting this Mr Hollywood called back….I promptly hung up on him…. Dumb ass