January 2012
32 posts
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The One About the Callback
Sometimes I wonder if our generation is getting dumber or if people just don’t think before they open their mouths. For the sake of humanity I am hoping its the latter. This is one of those stories….
Dum-dum: I have a question about a call back
(Now for those of you who are new to the entertainment industry or who have run far far away from it, a callback is basically an invitation...
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The One About the Dinner Party
I just recently went to a dinner party which was fun but also super awkward. Awkward in the sense that it was a networking party and I am just not very good at networking. Also because I don’t have a fancy title at my work, I am just an an office peon which is fine (heck I even have a blog about it and thank you for reading) however when you are surrounded by twenty-something year olds who...
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The One About Location
This is a short and sweet tale of just how stupid our society can be….
Lost: Hi, I my name is Lost (name has been changed…obviously) and I am lost. I can’t seem to find your offices
Me: Where are you now?
Lost: In my car
(REALLY?!?!?! REALLY?!?! Do you honestly think that is an appropriate answer to my question?!?)
*sigh* I weep for the future
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The One About Drop Off Submissions
Oh submissions….what a waste of paper they are.
Thank goodness I recycle
So just a little background to this story: The policy of our agency is that we do not accept drop off submissions. I can see two sides of this policy.Those for the policy and those against the policy. On one hand this policy makes sense because all submissions come in with the regular mail so if some random actor...
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The One About the Awkward Caller
During my days of dealing with stupid people I sometimes find myself messing with callers. This is one of those stories
Caller: Hello
Me: Hello
Caller: You’re a talent agency.
(Well I am not a talent agency, I am a person. More specifically I am a person that works at a talent agency)
Me: Yes you have called a talent agency
*silence*
(why initiate a conversation when they called me?...
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The One About the Ditz
I really hate it when stereotypes prove to be true. Like when I am driving on the freeway and someone swerves into my lane and I think “probably a woman driver” AND IT IS!!!! (I am a woman and I approve this message)
This is a story about the Ditz
Ditz: Hey I would like to come in and see __________
Me: Are they expecting you?
Ditz: Well they told me to come in last month so ya?
...
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The One About the Impatient Actor
Why do people feel the need to be awful to me, the office peon? Do you feel better about your own meaningless existence when you scream obscenities at me? What is that really going to accomplish? You are just going to make both yourself and I more frustrated with how awful our current situations are (yours with your life and me with having to deal with you).
Today I had the wonderful opportunity...
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The One About Die Hard
Yes the movie series Die Hard
This is a short read about the mere stupidity of people
Bonehead: Hey you know that Die Hard movie?
(of course I know the Die Hard movies. Heck in my family Die Hard is considered a Christmas movie)
Me: Yes which one?
Bonehead: The one with Bruce Willis
(ALL OF THEM HAVE BRUCE WILLIS IN THEM!!!)
I weep for humanity
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The One about the Open Call
I love it when people think they know how to do my job better then I do. This is one of those stories.
Today has been just one of those days where I want to strangle people over the phone!!! Especially the Open Call Guy who has been calling me ALL DAY. It’s not like he has been calling randomly throughout the day with different questions. Nope he has been calling me with the pretty much the...
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The One About Regularity
It’s the little things in life that make me laugh. Because of that this entry shall be short and sweet.
Actor #1: You look awfully familiar
Actor #2: Thank you?
(yes he answered Thank you as a question. I find myself doing the same thing when put in the same situation. I mean how do you properly answer/reply to that?)
Actor #1: Are you an actor?
Actor #2: Yes
Actor #1: Do you have a...
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The One About the Ex
This is an entry about love relationships. I know it’s not my normal type of blog entry but it applies to being an Office Peon, I promise. Just bare with me.
There are two things I know about relationships. For one, relationships are awesome. Second, break ups are tough! Especially a break up with someone who you consider your best friend because not only are you losing your significant other you...
themugwumpingwillow asked: I just went through all blog posts-hysterical! I'm sorry though you have to deal with that. Can I ask, what's the name of the agency you work for? I hope you have an uneventful day at work!
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The One About the Scumbag
Dear Actors of the World,
If it is your dream to be an actor there is one thing you should know when submitting to an agency (besides the obvious of you know having talent, head shot, resume, reel thing), be nice. It’s quite a simple concept one would think. Apparently not though. It shocks me when actors come in with this self entitled ego and jackass personality. Maybe you were the shit...
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The One About Strange Conversations
Being an Office Peon I am sometimes ignored. Which is fine, it gives me time to do other things like judge people who pretend I don’t exist. Today is one of those days
This is a word for word conversation that just happened in the lobby
Dude: Well look what the cat dragged in
Bro: Fuck off
Dude: Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed
Bro: Fuck off! God, why are you...
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The One About the Boss Man
Well I had a very strange phone call today. Who am I kidding I have strange phone calls everyday, but today was strange to say the least
Mr Delirious (name has been changed….obviously): Hey uh ya I uh need to speak to the boss man
(um what?)
Me: I am sorry; who would you like to speak to?
Mr Delirious: You know the boss man, the head honcho, THE MAN
(Wait a second, can we just take a moment and...
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The One About the Good, the Bad, and the Downright...
All actors want their submissions to stand out in one way or another. The normal route is with their outstanding resumes and phenomenal head shots. Actors who lack the outstanding resume and/or have a terrible head shot go another route. They instead want to dazzle and amaze potential agents with a first impression.
These first impressions can range from the tame like obnoxious color envelopes...
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The One About Skeet Shooting
I fear for future generations…
Today was a fun-filled (sarcasm) day of the dreaded open call for the agency. For those of you not involved in the entertainment world, an Open Call is basically an audition that is open (shocker) to anyone wishing to try out and in this case for representation. On these particular days we have TONS AND TONS of people show up in the hopes that an agent will...
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The One About Santa Claus
This is not my normal type of entry and I apologize for that. However, I still wanted to write about this because it was a silent victory on my end for all peons who are or have been bullied in one way or another.
KIDS TODAY ARE MEAN. Well I suppose kids have always been mean to each other but today I was taken aback by how cruel they are.
I was sitting at my desk minding my own business during...
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The One About "Special Skills"
Sometimes less is more. This rings true with the special skills portion of the resume. For those of you who do not know what the special skills portion of the resume is, its is a portion of the resume reserved for special skills (SHOCKER!). These special skills should be unique.
Fire Breathing is a special skill. Stilt Walking is a special skill. Dog walking? Not so much. One that I see more...
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The One About Office Parties
I feel as though proper etiquette at office parties is something that one should fully be aware of before you even walk in the door. It may just be me but I think it is more common sense then anything else. Either my standards of common sense are not as common as I think or clearly I think too highly of people. Lets talk about my office Christmas (I guess I should be politically correct) Holiday...
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The One About the Unexpected Day Off
Please note the date of this entry. It is Monday January 2, 2012. Since it is the first Monday of the New Year I went to work as one does on a Monday. Especially on a Monday that is you know is part of the workweek. I walked in to the office and was not too surprised when I didn’t see anyone there. I am usually the first person in the office every morning anyways. This is because I am the office...
