Today I had the random craving for chocolate milk.I know random…. ANYWAY I walked to the commissary (basically a giant lunch room for adults) and got a chocolate milk. It wasn’t until I was back in my office that my worst nightmare was realized…. the chocolate milk was bad. I spit it out. Apparently someone in the chocolate milk factory was playing a delayed April fools joke on unsuspecting victims (namely me…ugh) and putting expired milk in bottles that were said to expire in a few months…jerks.
Anyway I called over to the commissary
Me: Hey, I was just over there and I wanted to let you know that the chocolate milk is bad
Employee: I am sorry I see that you are calling from ___________ I will send someone right over to your office
Me: No its okay I just wanted to let someone know
*click* (they hung up on me)
It’s not like I wanted to cause a big stink or anything I just wanted them to know. Anyway about 15 minutes goes by and two gentlemen walk into my office. Before I continue I feel as though I must describe these two gentlemen. The one who did all the talking reminds me of this:
basically a short Italian man who resembles Joe Pesci
The other man was more like this:
an Italian, silent version of the Rock.
Now that you have the visuals lets move on with the story
Mob Boss: Are you the one who called about the chocolate milk?
Me: Yes I am. I really didn’t mean to cause any-
(he cuts me off mid sentence)
Mob Boss: I am the Mob Boss (name has been changed…obviously) and this is my associate
(he points to the big burly man behind him)
Me: Hello it’s nice to meet you-
(he cuts me off again and points at the chocolate milk on my desk)
Mob Boss: Is this the chocolate milk in question?
(I can only nod because it seems like he wants to do all the talking)
Mob Boss: May I?
(I nod again)
He takes the chocolate milk from my desk and holds it up to his nose
Mob Boss: Wow that is bad. Here (he hits his associate who is holding a new chocolate milk) take this as a token of gratitude
Me: Thank you but I really-
(he cuts me off again)
Mob Boss: I insist
Me: Thank you
(he points to the chocolate milk in my hands)
Mob Boss: Well….
Me: Did you want me to try it?
Mob Boss: Please
(I take a swig hoping its not poisoned)
Me: Yes that is much better
Mob Boss: Wonderful. It was a pleasure doing business with you and if you need anything don’t hesitate to call. (he turns to his associate) Alright we are outta here
I had no idea that there was such a thing as a Chocolate Milk Mafia…. I guess you learn something new everyday