Confessions of an Office Peon

Getting walked over, one call at a time

1 note &

The One About the Chocolate Milk Mafia

Today I had the random craving for chocolate milk.I know random…. ANYWAY I walked to the commissary (basically a giant lunch room for adults) and got a chocolate milk. It wasn’t until I was back in my office that my worst nightmare was realized…. the chocolate milk was bad. I spit it out. Apparently someone in the chocolate milk factory was playing a delayed April fools joke on unsuspecting victims (namely me…ugh) and putting expired milk in bottles that were said to expire in a few months…jerks.

Anyway I called over to the commissary

Me: Hey, I was just over there and I wanted to let you know that the chocolate milk is bad

Employee: I am sorry I see that you are calling from ___________ I will send someone right over to your office 

Me: No its okay I just wanted to let someone know

*click* (they hung up on me) 

It’s not like I wanted to cause a big stink or anything I just wanted them to know. Anyway about 15 minutes goes by and two gentlemen walk into my office. Before I continue I feel as though I must describe these two gentlemen. The one who did all the talking reminds me of this:

 basically a short Italian man who resembles Joe Pesci 

The other man was more like this: 

an Italian, silent version of the Rock

Now that you have the visuals lets move on with the story

Mob Boss: Are you the one who called about the chocolate milk?

Me: Yes I am. I really didn’t mean to cause any-

(he cuts me off mid sentence)

Mob Boss: I am the Mob Boss (name has been changed…obviously) and this is my associate

(he points to the big burly man behind him)

Me: Hello it’s nice to meet you- 

(he cuts me off again and points at the chocolate milk on my desk)

Mob Boss: Is this the chocolate milk in question? 

(I can only nod because it seems like he wants to do all the talking) 

 Mob Boss: May I? 

(I nod again) 

He takes the chocolate milk from my desk and holds it up to his nose

Mob Boss: Wow that is bad. Here (he hits his associate who is holding a new chocolate milk) take this as a token of gratitude 

Me: Thank you but I really- 

(he cuts me off again)

Mob Boss: I insist 

Me: Thank you 

*awkward silence*

(he points to the chocolate milk in my hands)

Mob Boss: Well….

Me: Did you want me to try it?

Mob Boss: Please 

(I take a swig hoping its not poisoned) 

Me: Yes that is much better

Mob Boss: Wonderful. It was a pleasure doing business with you and if you need anything don’t hesitate to call. (he turns to his associate) Alright we are outta here 


I had no idea that there was such a thing as a Chocolate Milk Mafia…. I guess you learn something new everyday 

Filed under Mafia Wars Mafia LOL Hollywood Chocolate Milk Milk LA Humor LOL Funny Are you kidding me That just happened haha

  1. confessionsofanofficepeon posted this